About Me

Jan Gilbert

I came up in the age of ‘Blank Slate’ therapists: movies full of Freudian tropes of mental health professionals avoiding eye contact while taking notes, devoid of emotion. I do, indeed, believe there is incredible therapeutic value in the relationship between client and therapist. I also believe that value is inextricably linked to the simple fact that we are quite far from blank slates. Here’s some of what’s on mine:

… As a quirky musical theatre kid coming of age in the pre-Hamilton era, years before Glee would popularize jazz hands (heck, even before the original Wicked), social life wasn’t always easy for me. For many years, in fact, it was downright painful.

Following what I realized decades later was a damaging therapeutic experience (unintentional on the clinician’s part – but intention and impact do not always match), I came to the conclusion that I was the problem. If I could just ‘fix’ the problem, I could ‘fit in.’

So I hid the parts of myself I thought were the problem, amplifying those that made me ‘valuable’: the Listener, the Problem Solver, the Jokester, the Agreeable One – never voicing contrary opinions too strongly, lest someone think I was ‘the Difficult One’ and walk away.

And it worked beautifully. Ever the social butterfly, I thrived. Performance became a way to step into roles that were outside my normal, to escape into the lives of others. But it also helped me build empathy and understanding – for the characters I played, but also for myself and the parts I had tried to leave behind. The parts that were not gone, only silenced.

Their abandonment came at a cost. Instead of the connection I had longed for, most relationships felt tenuous, experienced on eggshells. I ‘fit in,’ but I didn’t truly belong. The thought of deeper connection brought a sense of dread that I – the problem – would be discovered and abandoned.

But in reality, it was the orphaned parts of myself that had been abandoned all along. By the most important person of all: me.

And I was tired of hiding.

Constantly working to meet the needs and wants of others (sometimes even imagined ones) while actively denying your own…that is not connection.

That is self-abandonment.

And it sure as heck doesn’t lead to a sense of belonging.

Through a long (and ongoing) therapeutic process involving mind and body, I worked to recover and reintegrate the parts of myself I had abandoned, to create a fuller sense of self-belonging.

This is my slate. It’s come with a lot of privilege and a lot of growth and learning. It’s always shifting, expanding, fragmenting and mending. It is most certainly not blank. We are all humans and, unlike Freud, I don’t consider myself an expert in anyone else’s slate. 

In the therapeutic space, I work collaboratively with the expert in your life experience: you. Through my therapeutic practice, I have supported others in doing their own work of self-recovery. Whether you are seeking to reclaim your voice, find a true sense of belonging, or simply get to truly know yourself, I am here to help guide you through that process.

Using what feels right for you - which may include talk therapy, expressive arts, behavioral therapies, psychoeducation, and/or embodied work to integrate mind/body processing and healing - we will work together to support you in moving toward whatever goals you have in mind.

Let’s Talk!

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Learn More

Read more about my specialties and who I work with or how the therapy process works.